It was rare, this kind of conversation with my daughter, it is something that we don’t have much these days. That is why, when we had it, I clung to it, never wanting it to end…My baby is not a baby anymore, she’s growing up way too fast it is making my head spin sometimes. I have to admit I am slowly loosing my control and hold in her life, she is asserting herself more, making outlandish but for her practical choices , throwing unsolicited advice, making uncalled for opinions that usually makes her dad so mad and making us wonder if we are doing the right things in bringing her up. This conversation that we had, it is a glimpse of the kind of person my daughter has become and I am hoping my daughter will be forever. It reassured me that for now we are still in the right track…here it goes (without director’s cut..)…

In the car on our way home, while dad was driving and me in that state—in between being awake and being asleep…

Bianca: Mommy, mommy, can I ask you something?

Me: What?!

Bianca: Am I an angel?

Me: Huh?!

Bianca: Am I an angel?

Me: Yes, your name is Angela right?

Bianca: do I have wings?

Me: No,

Bianca: So how did you know that I’m an angel?

Me (wide awake now!): angels come in the form of good people here on earth

Bianca: am I good?

Me: yes

Bianca: so am I an angel?

Me: yes, I think you’re an angel

Bianca: how did you know?

Me: mother knows best

Bianca: Ah, so how do they get wings?

Me: angles? they only get wings if they reach heaven

Bianca: how do you recognize an angel here on earth?

Me: it takes one to know one

Bianca: I think I am an angel because I can see some angels in our class, you know the girls that are nice to others and some of the auxiliaries I think are angels here on earth

Me: really?!

Bianca: How can you become an angel till you die?

Me: you have to do lots of good things

Bianca: I promise I will be an angel forever

Me: okay

Bianca: mommy, do you think you’re an angel?

Me: I don’t think so

Bianca: Ah, because sometimes you get mad at daddy…

Me: siguro, then you have to be good for all of us so we can sort of be like angels like you

Bianca: did you see my wings when I was born?

Me (making bola!) : you know, I think I got a glimpse of your wings when you were born, I’m not sure ha because I was groggy that time, I was halfway between being asleep and being awake

Bianca: Really mommy! Really?! (getting excited now!)

Me: yes, I think

Bianca: I think when I die I will get to see my angel’s wings

Me: why when you die?

Bianca: Because I think that when you die, you will get a gimpse (glimpse) of that, it is like in between being awake and being asleep diba, that’s how papa ( my dad) feel (felt) siguro when he was dying….then you will get to see the angles fly by…

****I remained silent after that****

About Me

I am better known as Nan’s widow, Bianca Angela’s mom, and Woodrose’s Mrs. Dela Cruz.  I am a full time teacher and mentor, a freelance writer for various print and online publications, a marathoner, and a curator of inspiring faith stories.
I am also the author of the best selling book, Grace Upon Grace: A widow’s journey.:)


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From Amazon:
“This book describes the author’s personal journey in faith and grace as a widow and single mother to her cancer warrior child. It chronicles how she managed to rise above her fears and found joy even in moments of grief and sorrow. …”

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