She’s on “house arrest” for another week or so. For the first time in days she slept soundly and ate her meals heartily. She’s been gaining back her strength and feels much more relaxed now.
Looking at her, you won’t see even the trace of discomfort she’s been feeling the past few days. She’s one tough cookie. She carries her cross well and with such grace that I am sure even the Lord is smiling at her right now with so much pride and affection. Tomorrow, she will do the body scan. This will give us an idea of the extent of the spread and would tell us if she needs to do another cycle of radioactive therapy. Whatever the outcome is though, looking at the way she handled things, I know all shall be well. I believe. I trust. I claim total and complete healing.
Most of the time she amazes me with her strength and determination. I don’t know how it happened that Nan and I were able to raise a daughter whose gentle yet strong in spirit. Today she’s on the third day of the treatment, the only way to make the radiation level go down is for her to expel body fluids by drinking lots of water and taking a bath as often as she can. Despite feeling nauseous, weak, and vomitty yesterday, she managed to down about 6 mineral water bottles and bathe at least 8 times or more. On top of that she shared this morning that she’s been praying every hour since last night. That’s how badly she wanted to go home. Like her dad, home is really where her heart is. Safest radiation level for her to be discharged is below 25. First day reading was 158, second day reading was 93. Doctor predicted a 35-40 reading this morning. Doctor was hoping an early discharge tomorrow or at least a late discharge this afternoon if all goes well. But then you know all pains and discomfort never go unnotice by the Lord. We may sometimes not realize it at the start but these big and little sacrifces that we do are what will lead us to victory. Radiation level reading this morning was 16, doctors were amazed that a child like Bianca can manage to bring the radiation level down that fast. It definitely exceeded their expectations. She was given the walking papers this morning.
She is now happily sleeping soundly in her bed here at home. More than her strength and determination, it’s really all the prayers that were offered for her by our friends, relatives, and even strangers that did it also. I am so so grateful to them for not leaving us during this difficult time. Each one of them and each one of you who offered a prayer for my Bianca without our knowledge will be in my prayers too. I believe. I trust. I claim. All shall be well.
Day 2 of the radioactive treatment was a bit difficult for Bianca. As the radioactive pill works to eliminate the remaining microscopic cancer cells not otherwise removed by surgery, her body doubles over as she feels more strongly its after effects. Vomitting and nauseousness were more frequent today than yesterday. She wasn’t up for anything other than lying down and waiting to fall asleep. I felt so helpless not being able to be by her side.
Sometimes I think that I do suck at motherhood like I can’t cook her a decent meal coz when I do I only managed to burn the eggs or drop the hotdogs. I can’t teach her math coz when I do she fails her tests. I can’t help her sew buttons on her clothes coz when I do it doesn’t match the hole. But seeing her handle this thing beautifully, seeing her smile despite feeling bad after a bout of vomitting and nausea or hearing her voice over the phone reassuring me that she’s okay and can handle things on her own, it also makes me think that maybe I didn’t do so bad in this parenting thing afterall. The lack of domestic bone in my body to which I more than make up for by giving her peptalks on how to be kind and understanding to people with limited homemaking skills (*wink*wink) has produced this exceptionally independent, strongwilled, kindhearted, and happy spirited old soul who just simply amazes and humbles me whenever she calls me mommy. I am truly beyond blessed to be handpicked by God to be her mom. All shall be well. I believe. I trust. I claim.