When my husband was still alive, he would often flatter me with compliments about how good I looked despite my heavy weight.  Since it didn’t seem to bother him, I didn’t feel the urgent need to loose the extra pounds.   When he passed away last year, I was faced with the starking reality that I am 30 lbs. overweight and wasn’t in the pink of health either. I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. Without my no.1 fan and supporter around, I felt ugly and heavy.
To bring my groove back, I tried going back to walking which has been pretty much the only fitness routine that I stuck to over the years. I did it every afternoon during my daily visit to the memorial park. But then after a while, I had to admit that it wasn’t really doing it to me. So for lack of better ideas on how to loose the extra pounds without having to resort to crash diets, I decided to condition my body for running. I felt I was ready for it.
It wasn’t easy. There were days when I doubted if I can really bring myself up to run. Days when I would feel a strong urge to just abandon the idea and stick to the safe and easy fitness routine that I was accustomed to. I guess the only thing that kept me going was my desire to scale my weight back to the healthy standard.  As the days wore on, my strength and endurance improved, and is so was my resolve to get myself to run. One day it did happen. I was able to run one lap and then eventually two. In no time at all I was running 3k, then 5k, and then 8k. I did it and the rest as they say is history.
Though I don’t run as often as I would like to now due to work, I make it a point to run on weekends or whenever I can. To say that I fell in love with running is putting it mildly. I am obsessed with it. I love how it makes me feel good, how it tones and strengthens my body, and how it frees my mind from worries.
run 2
But perhaps the best thing that running did to me was that it helped me cope with the loss of my husband. Since I became preoccupied with running during the time that I was deep in my mourning period, I  forgot to wallow in self pity and depression. It relaxed me in a way that it helped quiet down my raging emotions. Even now, I enjoy running because it allows me to sort my thoughts and feelings out. It gives me an opportunity to weigh things in my mind. It somehow puts everything in perspective for me. And because of that, I am able to make wise and practical decisions. Running, as expected, helped me loose the extra pounds. I was 140 lbs. when I started seven months ago, I am now a 116 lbs.
I am glad that I pushed myself to run. More than anything, it brought back my sense of self. It affirmed my long standing belief that yes I can achieve whatever goal I set my eyes and heart on. I can bring myself to any place so long as I keep moving. And that if I allow myself to get pass the limits and boundaries that I set for myself, I can come through.

When people see me now, they are half expecting me to share a breakthrough diet or a secret pill that made me look well despite my loss.  No I did not put myself in a diet progam nor swallow wonder pills, the reason why there’s a healthy glow in my cheeks is simple, I discovered the joy of running.