My love affair with running started right after my husband, Nan, died. Weeks after he passed away, I remember fervently asking the Lord to give me something (not someone) to occupy my mind, fill my days with wonder, and make me feel alive again. I prayed for Him to bring back the bounce in my step, the smile on my face, and that same silly happiness I felt with Nan. He gave me running.
I remember that exact time I felt it, that gentle yet insistent prodding, that persistent desire to run. It was while I was standing by my husband’s grave one day, looking over at the horizon when I caught sight of this woman who was running strong and graceful, it’s as if her feet don’t so much as touch the ground. Her whole body was radiating strength and joy. I quite remember telling myself then that someday that’s going to be me.
Fast forward to my first attempt to run, my feet felt like bricks, I was gasping for air and I was just about ready to collapse on the pavement halfway through my lap. But I made it, oh yes I made it to the first kilometer, and to the second, and to the third…I have never stopped running since then.
But, my relationship with this sport, it isn’t always easy. In fact, everytime I am out running early in the morning while the rest of the world sleeps, I often ask myself, why do I have to do this? Surprisingly though, it is when self-doubt clouds my mind like this that the amazing thing usually happens. Always as if on cue, my mind will start to clear, my lungs will start to open, my whole body will sing in tune with each step, and I will be left there totally enjoying the exhilirating experience. Finding myself thinking yet again that, this, this is why you do this. So you’ll see that no matter how hard it may seem to get up in the morning, there’s always something great for you out there there. That no matter how difficult it may seem at the start, if just make a run for it with faith and determination, you will see yourself through.
Running has made me understand the beauty of a struggle. It made me see pain in a different light. It made losing my husband easy to bear. It made me realize a lot of things like difficulty will always be a given. The elements that can beat me down will always be there, it is your determination and attitude really that will get you to the next kilometer. It made me understand myself well enough to know when I am ready and strong enough for another push.
At present, I continue to run as passionately as when I first started. For me, love and running, they’re almost like the same thing. You love and run till it hurts because in the end, you’ll find that, it’s all truly worth it.
Blanca will be part of the hundred dreamers who will run their first marathon on February 22 at Nuvali under the TBR dream program of The Bull Runner. Want to run for your dream also visit http://www.tbrdream.com