During one of my conversations with God at the time I was in deep mourning, I remember crying out to him in anguish that I felt cheated. I felt robbed. Angrily, I lashed out and told Him that I would have been ready to take care of my husband. I would have been willing to put my life on hold. I would have been prepared to stand in vigil by his bedside. And would have gladly settled for a year, a month, a day, or even for just a few hours with him maybe if He just so much as let me. You see, my husband death was so sudden, he was gone by the time I reached the hospital.
Though I have eventually learned to accept God’s will and see the wisdom in His decision, I sometimes still cannot help but feel a painful twist in my heart everytime I think about those missed opportunities.
If you are taking care of a sick loved one right now, consider yourself very lucky. Not everyone is given the priviledge to be somebody’s pillar of strength during his weakest moment. Not everyone is given the rare chance of playing a big part of somebody’s little progress and triumphs everyday. Not everyone is gifted with extra time to grow in deep faith and love in the midst of all the struggles. And not everyone is afforded front seat to bear witness as God works His wondrous miracles.
So next time you feel bone tired and weary looking after your loved one’s needs , keep in mind that you are one of the lucky chosen few. Continue to be generous with your time, gentle in your affection, and patient in your understanding. Know that you are truly blessed beyond measure for you are rewarded with God’s unending graces. And a lot of people who have been “robbed” or “cheated”of this chance would give anything, anything just to be in your shoes.
Originally written for Eat and Cheat Cancer Book Project