This was taken about three or four weeks ago, during one of those perfect afternoon when we can’t help but smile silly because we were just damned happy. Actually, August for some reason was extraordinarily special. My husband made an effort to be  extra sweet, extra attentive, and extra fun last month. It was simply our happiest month, with my birthday,the long weekends, the everyday togetherness, it was just simply perfect, or so I thought.

Two days before August ended, my husband died of massive heart attack and I have died a thousand death since then too. In the blink of an eye, the man who is my world, my universe, my life was gone forever.
Never in my wildest dream had I imagined that we will be apart too soon, too fast. I imagined us celebrating many birthdays and anniversaries together. I had always imagined us growing old together. But unknown to us, God has other plans.
For 12 years I have kept him to myself, close to my heart, as much as I can. Our world revolved around each other. But in the end, I know he’s not mine to keep. He belonged to the Lord, and I have to accept that as hard as it may seem, as painful as it may seem.
Now I begin my journey alone, without my man on my side. In God’s perfect time, I know I will eventually reach that place where I can safely say that I am finally okay. It may take months, years, I don’t know, the only thing I know is that the wonderful wonderful memories that he left me will bring me there.

21 comments on “And My Life Will Never Be The Same Again”

  1. dearest blanca, i’m sorry for just messaging you now… i just found out. prayers dearest, prayers and hugs. know that i am here for you. may God give you and yours strength, faith, and comfort, most especially now.

  2. i am so sorry to have read the sad news…be strong…your life may never be the same again but it is the life you still have to live…let our prayers comfort you….

  3. Condolence on your loss. It’s really unfortunate whenever death comes in the family and it’s extra added pain for someone to go in an instant, My father also left me at a very young age and at an instant and in time, I came to realize that everything does happen for a reason.

  4. I am sorry for your loss. I cannot exactly tell how sad you are, but reading through the lines of your post, I was teary-eyed. I also lost some loved ones in my life (my mother, my father, and just last month too was my grandmother). I know it is very painful, but thinking there is God and He might have the best reasons, I just try to let go and accept it everyday. May God embrace you with His love and bless your family with strength and acceptance. Take care Blanca!

  5. I do not know how to react. I feel your pain but at the same time proud of you that you can express the pain in words and writing.
    I believe that you will get over it sooner than you think because you choose to express it rather than sulk in a dark corner.

  6. I’m so sorry for your loss. My condolences and prayers to you and your family.
    May you find strength in the love of the people around you, as well as the overflowing love of our Lord.

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss. My condolences and prayers to you and your family. May you find strength in the love of family and friends, as well as the overflowing love of our Lord.

  8. DEATH is something oblivious and so hard to accept more so if someone close to your heart departed unexpectedly. For me, it’s undeniably painful to mind, body and soul. I cannot say anything that may lighten up your deep sorrow but GOD is with you and HIS spirit will somehow give you the reason to live your life in your husband’s absence.

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