My Long Running Birthday Obsession

My birthday is always a big deal for me. Eversince I was a kid, I consider my birthday a red letter day. When the calendar hits June I would start counting the days till my birthday comes and I would keep on reminding my family about it. They usually are amused whenever I am in my pesky birthday mode. I have to say that I haven’t gotten over this feeling of great anticipation whenever my birthday is near. I love my birthday because I usually use it as a weapon to “force” my family to give me something that I want. They usually cannot resist buying it for me since I would really give them a hard time if they don’t. :) I would also use it as a perfect excuse to be waited upon. I would like to think also that it gives me a license to be total BRAT just for one day. That’s why I love my birthday. I used to think that I would forever be that kid who just can’t wait for her birthday to come.

For starters, I would make a list as early as June of the things that I would want for my birthday. When I was single, my dad and later my sister would see to it that I get what I wanted most from the list. When I got married, I learned to develop a subtle, not so obvious way of making my husband know what I want without having him thinking that I am the most demanding wife. There was a time when I lured him to the jewelry section of the department store totally unaware of my hidden agenda. I made a show of admiring with regret these fabulous bracelets and little heartbreaker trinkets of different colors of pink, silver, white and yellow (gold?). I also remembered last year their company was selling this really cute laptop and to make him know that I want that, I made a show of being totally captivated by it and told him endless tales of sleepless nights when I just can’t get it out of my mind. Most often though I would print out a picture of an amazing bag that catches my fancy in the internet and would very casually leave that colored printout ( so that he would get me the right color)on top of our desk in our house where he would surely, surely not miss it. Very often, okay, well 99.9% of the time he never fails me. I always get my most wanted gift each year for my birthday. This has become some sort of a game for me and my husband. I know secretly he waits each year for the crazy antics that I would do just so he would know what gift I would want him to give me. We always try to outdo each other in making the most obvious birthday gift a surprise for each other’s birthday. I know this seems shallow or childish or crazy to some, but for me, birthdays only come once a year and what the heck! It is the only time I allow myself to splurge on something or totally covet something.

But this year though is different. I have been having this funny feeling as my birthday is getting near. Although I made a printout already of my most coveted bag and let my husband know in no uncertain terms the dimensions of that bag that I like, I can’t seem to have that same giddy feeling I usually get whenever I am in my pesky birthday mode. For the first time, there is really noTHING that I want for my birthday this year…except for my family to be okay. We have been through a lot and I realized that this time I just want each member of my family to be alright . I want my mom to get through this stressful health situation that she is in right now. I want my little girl to slowly regain back her strength after being sick for days. I want my sister to finally have that happiness and peace of mind that she so desires and I want my husband to achieve all of his big dreams and grand plans. Nothing else this time, just that, oh well all of that actually. I guess its not really too much to ask for a birthday right? It would not really cost a thing to have all those “things”. In fact I would even gladly trade my (sigh!) bag or give away anything just to have those wishes coming true on this birthday. Oh well, I must really be getting old or it seems that the time when I would finally outgrow this “ birthday obsession syndrome” has finally come with this new developments in my birthday life. But I guess if that is case, “growing up” or “growing out of it” is not really so bad after all. I mean, I’m sure that everybody goes through this stage or is it just me? :) oh well, bring on the cake, I will blow my candles now…

P.S. Birthday countdown: OMG! 2 days to go and its my birthday already! (there are some things really that you can never change)

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