I had been coming in and out of therapy for the past two weeks. I had been experiencing backpains again due to my dextroscoliosis that the doctor decided to let me go through a series of physical therapy sessions again that were a bit strenuous but relaxing at the same time. My sessions are finally done but my struggle with dextroscoliosis is not yet over. I was formally diagnosed with this physical ailment 12 years ago. By that time it was too late to correct the spine because it was forty five degrees already. The only option that time was spine surgery. For lack of money and fear of the major operation and its after effects, my family decided against it. So I had to go through the physical therapy and back braces to stop the progress of the curve. I wore the back brace all through college, well not all the time since being strapped with metal is kind of uncomfortable and hard so I wore it only some days. When I was working already, I decided to discard the back braces and just stick with the series of exercises that I had to do for the rest of my life. My rehab doctor advised me not to get pregnant for it would be risky. But nothing can stop those raging hormones and the promising stage of motherhood so I went ahead with my pregnancy which drove my father crazy. The whole pregnancy was without problems, I didn’t experience back pains and the other horrors that my rehab doctor was telling me about. But come delivery time, I never thought it’ll be that traumatic. At the last minute, my doctor decided to cut me up because the baby wouldn’t fit into that thing where she was supposed to come out. It required epidural anesthesia because my doctor ruled out general anesthesia for it was too risky.  They had a hard time inserting the needle in my twisting “S” curve spine. It seemed endless, I felt each poke of the needle, each hit and miss. It took three anesthesiologist before they were able to insert the anesthesia in my spine. Each poke of the needle was like a poke in my soul because I feared not only for my life but for the life of my baby as well because time was running out. But that’s all water under the bridge now, I was able to deliver my baby safely sans dextoscoliosis.

My daughter always asks me about the hump in my back before but unlike some people who will just come up to me, feel my hump and tactlessly say “ano to? Kuba ka?”, she would say it and feel it with awe and reverence. Lately, when I’m rubbing her back, she would asks me “mommy do you feel any hump?” and when I tell her no, she would get disappointed because she wants to have one like me because she wants to look like me. It was a long time coming, my acceptance that I’ll never have the perfect back like other people. It was a constant source of insecurity for me. I tried to hide it by growing long, black gloriously beautiful hair back in high school. It was like a deep dark secret. I was successful in hiding it well until college. I was conscious with the way I move and with the clothes I wear. I detested tight fitting clothes and develop this snobby air more as a defense mechanism rather than an attitude. It took my husband who loves me hunchback and all for me to slowly accept that I’m never going to have that perfect back like other people. He doesn’t know that each time he rubs my back and says I’m beautiful, he strips away one layer of insecurity. It took a while before I can easily explain to others about the hump and not feel any stab of pain or embarrassment. A while before I was able to accept, understand and be comfortable with myself. I still have long way to go I know, there are still moments of uneasiness and self-consciousness.  I took a big step though last summer which tells me that I’m slowly getting there, I finally cut my hair short.

I always say that how people see you is not important but how you view yourself and how proud you are of what you see are what matters. I learned that the hard way. I’ve been labeled maliciously “kuba or hunchback’ a lot of times by playmates when I was young and by somebody who truly hates me before, they bruised my ego big time. But the people who see me, like me and love me everyday despite my hunchback, my family and friends, they do more than just give my ego a good rub, they fill and lift my spirit up and bless my soul.  You guys just don’t know how important your presence and friendship are to somebody like me who up until now is still struggling with dextroscoliosis…

16 comments on “Struggling with Dextroscoliosis”

  1. ei! nice blog entry. i fear the same thing. we may not have the same curve but i also have scoliosis which is a “forever” ache in my life. sometimes the pain numbs me already. haha! i don;t even know the feeling of nothaveing a backache 😉 someone volunteered to pay for my braces but what the heck?!? lifeis too short. i don’t want to waste my time walking around like a robot! haha! and can u imagine me making my fabulous bead creations (wink!) with my iron clad back? hah! no way! i came to love my flaws. actually i love my back! haha! never did i feel insecure because i ‘m “kuba”…uhmmm.well, overyly-confident lang tlga me siguro. haha! enwei, im happy too foryou that you’ve finally accpted that ‘hump’ of yours. it’s who u areblanky. it’s your back. it’s beautiful. cheers! 😀

  2. Actually cat, the song “my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump check it out!” is what I sing nowadays…hahaha!!!! seriously, thanks! I truly love me now, hump and all.:)

  3. Hi! I was diagnosed with dextroscoliosis since May 2006 but I havn’t tried any treatment yet. First, because I’m afraid; second, I don’t have enough money to undergo treatment because it might expensive. Is it really expensive?
    I really don’t know why I got this kind of illness. When I found out this, I really don’t know that there is this kind of thing that exists. All I know about spine illness is osteoporosis. My back is always aching. And I don’t know what should do. I’m afraid it will get worst. Can you give me some hints what to do if my back starting to ache?
    Maybe I will undergo treatment if I have already enough money.
    Thanks a lot for the information!
    Kaya natin ‘to….

    • hi dory, thanks for leaving a comment here…you know what, the first thing that you need to do is go see a rehab doctor, they are at the Physical therapy department of every hospital. Initially the doctor would recommend for you to do an xray coz they need to know the degree of your scoliosis and from there they can recommend the type of management that you need to hinder the progress of the curve and at the same time to ease the pain. They will give you a series of exercises 9this depends on the degree of the curve and the direction of the cruve), which you should do everyday to strengthen your back muscles so it will not hurt that much anymore. The therapy like the internal ultrasound and electrodes that they will do on you will ease the immediate pain that you are feeling, you can also try the hot compress as home remedy when the pain gets unbearable. It is a bit expensive at the start such as the xray and the therapy but the therapy is for a short period of time only and if you have a health card they shoulder at least 10 sessions of therapy plus the xray and the consultations. The therapy is roughly between 250-500 depending on the rate of the clinic or hospital where you will go to, whereas the xray is about 500…hope you will go to see a doctor and I hope i was of help to you…:)

  4. hi i was also diagnosed with dextroscoliosis when i took my ojt 2 years ago. . .i kept on asking my friends if it is curable. . .i didn’t expect that it will be forever. . .it made me sad everytime i remember that day. . . i have no choice but to accept this. . .

    • Hi thank you for leaving a comment here. Do not be sad because of your condition. There are still a lot of things you can do. Don’t let that stop you from enjoying life.:)

  5. how much was y0ur brace then? Im so devastated that i wasnt allowed to go through j0b because of this. I d0nt kn0w what to do. If only im rich :'( i neEd job to graduate buT unf0rtUnately di na yata aq mkkGRADuate for im n0t alloweD to w0rk, stand l0ng and cArRY heavy things, and get stresS and thats all a part of w0rk :'( how would i be abLE to c0ntinue this j0urney :'(

    • Hi aya, 15 years ago it cost 5,000 only. How severe is your dextroscoliosis? bec. you can still work, there are a hundred other jobs out there that you can still try. Just avoid the ones that require carrying heavy loads and can strain the back otherwise you can perform other tasks. I have been teaching for 5 years and before that I was in sales and did marketing. Don’t let this condition hinder you from enjoying life and its many opportunities.:)

  6. I been diagnosed of having this spine problem since highschool and same as you it is also 40 plus degree..i ‘ve been denying this not until now that I’m already a graduating in college. I plan to enroll in therapy soon after graduation. You inspired me with your story…and thanks to your blog i was able to know that..its not only me who is suffering from this illness….thank you!!!

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